Who Am I? Good Question Right?
I used to answer that with the handy dandy cookie cutter cliché
answer. “I am a Wife, a Mom, a daughter, a friend…” I might even have added in
words like: “soul searcher”, “seeker” “student of life” to the mix. But this is
my new Blog and I have committed to being authentic and real with the words I
write for this Blog. I don’t have a Map planned out for this yet nor do I have
any idea what content will be in this Blog, I just know that I need to write and
I need to write and share honestly. So word of warning-this might get ugly up
in here!
However, I do realize as a reader you will want to know me
a little bit-knowing me may allow YOU-the reader-to identify with me. I tend to
be on the “I am an Open Book” kind of lady. I am the person who probably posts
way too much info on Facebook about my day or my life. I get shit for it all
the friggin time and THAT in itself pisses me off and has prompted me to NEED
to Blog again.
So I am all of those things I said in my first paragraph.
How boring.
But my life is far from boring-I wish for boring sometimes!
I am married-19 years a week ago. We have our struggles. Most days I feel
grateful to be married and to have the life I have with such a hard working
good guy and other days I wonder why I am still here. Why do I put up with him
and why does he put up with me? Which brings me to our children.
We have two boys. My oldest is 16 and my youngest 14. A
Junior and freshman. My 16 year old struggles with Anxiety and OCD. He barely
attends high school and does online course work to compensate for what he doesn’t’
do at the HS. My younger guy has some anxiety/ocd issues but is able to manage
them quite well and attends HS full-time.
I live in Maine and have my whole life. Same city even.
Sadly, I don’t think I ever gave it a thought to move anywhere else. Luckily I
love it here.
My Mother died when she was 50 and I was 29. My Dad when he
was 66 and I was 38. Their stories intertwined with mine deserves its own Blog post
for sure.
We own our own small company and have a good life. I have
far more than I ever dreamed I would or dared to imagine coming from FoodStamps
and Welfare. Most days I try to live with Gratitude, even for the shitty things
that show up. I know I am very
fortunate.
Yet if truth be told, and that IS the title of this Blog
right? I am struggling. I am almost 43 and I feel like I am just spinning my
wheels. I have given so much to my kids and my family that I have lost all
passion for what I care about! I used to do photography a bit as a hobby. I
haven’t picked up my camera in months. I used to write. I was pretty good. But
then marriage and kids kind of took that away. I would write now and then but
never honestly about how I felt for fear my husband or kids would read it. I
fear that even now as I write but hope that I have taken the necessary
precautions to keep this blog on the down low-just for my eyes and yoursJ
I hope to share with you my life, my journey, my struggles.
I want to share the finny things that happen that sometimes I cannot believe
myself! I also hope to inspire, to grow and to connect with others in a way
that only Truth can. So please, join me for this new journey in my life! Happy
Blogging Friends!
